The world likes to tell you that there are two kinds of people, or two ends of the spectrum. And while this may be true in some cases, and useful in many, it also makes it easier to lose oneself in a false binary.
Are you a good project manager, or not?
Are you good at healing, or not?
Are these things inversely related?
First, I’m sure it’s possible to be a terrible project manager, but I also think there are dozens of ways of being one. Same for healing.
Frigging same for healing.
First, a tip from one camp the other. Then the inverse. Then the narrative.
Healing for Project Managers:
Dispense with the micromanaging (and trust me, you do it). Do this by providing clear and accessible goals/steps/objectives.
Overt micromanaging looks like:
Backseat driving with words. Telling someone how to do something after the fact, likely with criticism. Your manager. My manager (which is me). Everyone everywhere because who has time to create clear and accessible goals, steps and objectives, adequate resources for additional support, and supportive feedback?!
Covert micromanaging looks like:
Backseat driving without words, just body position and nonverbal sounds. Is this criticism? feedback? am I supposed to be a mind-reader? YES.
Self-destructive micromanaging looks like:
Refolding the towels yourself. The right way. And slowly descending into madness while wasting your time and everyone else's.
Healing from micromanaging looks like:
Tolerating (and one day embracing) adequate towel folding. Correcting misfiling of the towels. Expressing acknowledgement for the work that was done. Clearly sharing your gratitude directly.
Gold star micromanaging is just skillful managing:
1. Here are our goals and objectives.
2. Here is a list of no no no.
3. Here’s how to get input or feedback from me.
4. We will debrief afterwards.
5. What am I missing?
6. Thank you.
Project Management for Healers:
Ok here is the unsettling news. Healing cannot be project managed in the traditional sense, where you make a plan and you do the plan, pivoting as needed.
Healing is a giant pivot-fest. It’s for dervishes. You have to learn to love to dance.
Rather than creating a prospective plan, I encourage a retrospective, because healing is not linear and can be easily missed in the first-person. It does not submit to bookends, feedback, or timelines. Time is trixy. Healing is a story that is unfolding in real time.
In healing, the plan is there is no plan.
A mantra I find medicinal.
How ‘bout you?
The Narrative
Something comes with the quiet, calm stillness of healing. For me, in my hummingbird nature, stillness has been effortful and challenging. I’m a mover and a shaker - a happy busy body that can zip from errand to errand or zoom to zoom, but struggles in long stretches of stillness unless they are accompanied by mental or emotional exhaustion (a recipe I have prepared backwards on most occasions). In my convalescence, I have learned a bit about focus in a way that might support you, if you’re more of a hummingbird or bulldozer or need support with focus.
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