Action Items

a pithy survival list for the end of the world

This week I have been playing virtual, asynchronous hot potato with Anne Lamott’s piece in The Post. One friend sends it to me, I pass it to three others, who send it onward, until it lands in my message box again.

It’s about not knowing what to do when the circumstances are new and strange, and taking cues from the desert, my personal patron saint of patience.

If you haven’t read it, you still can. It’s not ruined. It’s worth seeing. I’m both grateful for the balm and the continuity of the potato game and a bit disappointed that the piece is not a numbered listicle, because I could absolutely use a tutorial right about now.

In the midst of the edible tuber of cultural survival significance game (adapted for this century), I also got a listicle which had some intriguing ideas about asking good questions of oneself, a practice I wholeheartedly endorse so long as it is not your only practice.

This latte is their pallid lovechild, which is the best I can seem to do with my thumbs in the bathtub less than 12 hours before this beauty lands in your inbox.

1. Scour your space for excess - if you’re like me, when the world feels pinched and uncertain, first I like to remind myself that certainty was the illusion AND that the skillful response is not to acquire or hoard more. Maybe you (like me) perform detailed calculations of precisely how much coffee you’ll need to endure the next four years and measure the square footage of the space behind and under everything to see how aligned or problematic your hoarding drive and space limitations might be.

Cute. Fine. Look at you, ready to ace the math section of the SAT!

But this is a practice of distraction and possibly procrastination when instead what you might notice with the same amount of time (but far less arithmetic) are the ice skates you have not worn since 2003.

Ice skates are unlikely to provide me (or you) adequate resource in the coming months and years BUT you are savvy enough to recall that you exist in an ecosystem where someone else definitely could use these.

Your excess might well be time, attention, and internet, but it feels less noticeable because it has been filled with an interactive time suck like social algorithms or sales or games or porn.

This isn’t judgement from me to you, but an invitation to look long and hard at the “screen time” breakdown on your devices. And maybe to delete them (why and how I finally deleted Instagram below the paywall).

2. Definitely rest. If the desert inspo doesn’t resonate, or you need small and specific direction, perhaps set the goal that you will not use an interactive device on the toilet. No one needs to be throned longer than business requires and 10/10 pelvic floor PTs who read this will agree. This is an action item. No more phone + toilet. Revolutionary.*
   
   *One of my most favorite college memories is toilet-related. A fellow Resident Advisor used to locate the single-stall bathroom on the first floor (nearest the RA office) and YELL into the toilet, like an ever-open inanimate confessional. He would yell FATHER JOHN! and then let loose everything he had been holding in, verbally speaking. You could try it?
   

3. Message three people a day who do not live in your square block. Send them messages that you are thinking about them. That you saw a flower or a brick or a neurotic parking job that made you think of them. Ideally these are not the same three people every day (are you obsessed?!), but folks who drift into your mind while you are…
   

4. Meditating for 10 uninterrupted minutes. You are excused from this action item if you are solely responsible for the life of another human, but otherwise, please consider this an action item on a checklist of what to do on the daily in an upside down world.
   

5. Go to your local library and check out a book made of paper. This helps the library and helps you, and the tree is unfortunately not coming back. You don’t have to read it. But you could. This provides you the opportunities to: cross paths with other humans, see how everyone is doing, meet a librarian, strengthen social ties.
   

6. Consider doing a few pushups against a wall, or air squats, if your health permits. Maybe you have more complex mobility tricks in which case extrapolate, but doing these things asks your body to maintain muscle mass, which helps with lots of things that you will find helpful. There used to be science about this, but by the time you read this, it may not be easy to locate.
   

7. Brush your teeth twice a day. Yes. You. Twice. These things fall away, and dental health is both simple and wildly important should you need to bite anyone.
   

8. Sing something from Hamilton or the Bhagavad Gita. Literally anything. Any line. From memory. If neither is in your noodle, take steps to build this skill. And try “HOW LUCKY WE ARE TO BE ALIVE RIGHT NOW” or “IT IS BETTER TO DO YOUR DUTY IMPERFECTLY THAN SOMEONE ELSE’S PERFECTLY”
   

9. Look at rocks, which were once in space. They are everywhere. WOW. That’s big. And far. And long ago. You’re a blip!
   

10. Plant many trees, guerrila style. I’m not kidding. It you’re eating an apple, plant the seed. This revolutionary act was once done by Johnny Appleseed, who rebranded littering. But seriously. The planting of seeds is a reminder that we live in a cycle of cycles, and that we can have impact with intention. Or not. You are a vehicle for transformation. Life force AND matter. Tell THAT to the rock.

And now the bit about me deleting instagram….